Dear Chloe
by bisexualdolphin
Summary: Tumblr Prompt: Beca wrote a note where she confessed her feelings for Chloe. Chloe finds it.


_Dear Chloe,_

 _I accidentally told Jesse and he said I should start by 'writing my feelings down'. As if that'll work. I probably won't ever give this to you but maybe by writing it down I won't feel like the words are about to tumble out every second I'm with you. So I'll start at the beginning._

 _I think it started on a Wednesday. Of course we had met a few times before. At the activities fair, the shower (still can't forget about that one), hood night. But this was the first time we were alone. And I don't mean to sound all creepy or like I was plotting something, because I definitely wasn't. But yeah, this was the first time we hung out without Aubrey giving me her death glare, or Amy making weird but impressive remarks about her life in Australia. I actually thought hanging out without all those barriers would be awkward, but as usual when it comes to you, I was wrong. Because you practically barged into my room and sat down on MY bed as if this was an everyday occurrence. I had hoped it would be. I still remember what you said._

 _"You know, Beca. I'm really glad you joined the Bellas. Not only because we need you to win, but because I think you and I are going to be really fast friends." You said repeating the words you whispered to me at hood night. But you probably didn't remember because you were all hopped up on your 'jiggle juice.' But I smiled an nodded anyway, pretending those words weren't still echoing in my head, unable to find a way out._

 _So I think that's when it started. That's when I started to fall down the incomprehensibly huge void that is Chloe Beale. And I should have been alarmed that it happened so fast. But when it comes to you, nothing alarms me anymore._

 _Thinking about it now, you would think it would have started in the shower. Because, I mean. Wow. But maybe that's just what made it stronger. I don't know. I never do. But I feel so dirty for thinking about it. And not for those reasons, but because it was such a beautiful moment and I feel like I'm ruining it by dwelling on it so much. And without your permission. Because you don't even know. Even thought sometimes I swear you do know. When your eyes get hooded and you shamelessly flirt. But you do that with everyone so why should I feel so special? But if you knew why didn't you say anything? Maybe you felt it too. But of course not because you're Chloe Beale. And I'm Beca. So why would you feel it too?_

 _But everyday it just gets fucking stronger and I can't help it and its so overwhelming sometimes I feel like stopping everything and just breaking down. And sometimes I do. But I wait until I'm alone and Amy is out with Bumper and you're catching up on homework. I wait until there is no possible way anyone will know. Especially when you casually mention Tom. When you mention how you're date wasn't great the night before. Because how am I supposed to help myself from blurting out, "That's because you weren't with me!" But I somehow manage. And I still don't know if you notice it. How my cheeks turn pinkish red within seconds and I start to stutter and try to change the topic as soon as I can. If you did notice it you never said anything. That's probably good. That you never mentioned it. Because how on earth am I supposed to explain that to you?_

 _And I guess now I realize that I still haven't even said what I came her to say. It's really hard. Even though you'll never read this and I'll burn it as soon as I'm done writing it. But I'm going to try to explain this feeling._

 _You make me feel like someone cares about me._

 _Your laugh turns a switch inside me and I feel like nothing hurts anymore._

 _When you're not with me I miss you. Even if we had just seen each other minutes before._

 _I think about you all the time. It's impossible to get you off my mind. And I'm not sure that I want to._

 _I think I would do anything for you and wouldn't even second guess it._

 _I had never thought I would be in love before. But now I am and its so scary but you make it so worth it._

 _So I guess this is it. I don't know if it made me feel better. Writing it down makes it seem more real though. So maybe that's how I begin the nearly impossible journey of getting over you. And I totally forgot but we have plans now and I think that's you walking down the hall. Why the fuck am I still writing I have to hide thi-._

She heard the familiar pattern of Chloe's knock as she stumbled out of her bed searching for a place to hide the letter.

"Just a minute!" Beca said frantically. She finally settled on under the mattress, because 'why would she look there?' She heard Chloe's know again and raced to the door.

"Hey Becs," Chloe said seeing the state Beca was in. "Do you need a second before we head out?"

"Um yeah. Thanks. Just uh, make yourself at home." She said stumbling over herself on the way to the bathroom. Chloe giggled and sat on the bed. She saw a little piece of paper peaking out from under the mattress. Curious, she stood up and pulled the paper from its hiding place.

She sat down on the bed again, noticing it was addressed to her. All the more curious, she began to read it.

Beca had just finished doing her make up and had calmed down slightly. She walked back to her room where unbeknownst to her, awaiting a very emotional Chloe Beale. Pausing slightly before entering the room to collect herself once again, she opened the door and was greeting by a sobbing Chloe.

"Beca. What is this?" Chloe said holding up the crumpled piece of paper.

Beca froze. Unable to form words, she just coughed and shrugged as casually as she could muster. The two were locked in an intense staring contest waiting for the other to speak first. Finally, Beca managed to form the words,

"Do you make a habit of reading other peoples personal letters?" She whispered angrily.

"No, Beca. No. Don't do this. Don't shut down. Just answer me. Is this true?" Chloe responded with a tone similar to begging. "Please Beca."

Beca sighed and asked, "Why aren't you freaking out more?" Silently freaking out. Chloe stood up and crossed the room.

"Beca! Please for god sakes IS WHAT YOU WROTE TRUE?"

"Yes! Of course it is Chloe why would I write something like that if it wasn't?"

Now it was Chloe's turn to be speechless. After a minute of quiet sobs and intese silence, Chloe asked timidly, "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I didn't want you to hate me." Beca answered honestly. "Do you?"

"What? No of course not, Beca. I'm just a little taken aback."

"I understand if you need some space. I think I do too. To get over you, I mean. Space and time."

"No, Beca! What are you talking about?" Chloe all but blurted out. "Why would I want the one I've been in love with for almost four years to 'get over me?'" She whispered so quiet that if Beca wasn't listening so intently she would have missed. A flash of recognition passed on Beca's face before she looked confused again. She opened her mouth to question Chloe but all that came out was a little squeak.

And before she knew it, Chloe's eyes were getting closer and closer to her own and her lips were parting and their noses brushed. Chloe paused as if asking if this was all okay. Her eyes begged silently. Hands sweating, hearts racing and unsteady breaths. Beca took in everything about Chloe Beale. How she smelled distinctly of cherry and vanilla, the way her eyes looked like galaxies, the small baby hair framing her face that made Chloe just that much more herself. Beca leaned in further and felt their lips brush as her eyes closed automatically. And Chloe's lips were so soft. And they tasted peppermint, which she never would have expected but it somehow made it better.

She felt Chloe's arm reach around her neck pulling her in closer. Subconsciously she hugged her back pressing herself more and more into the kiss until she didn't even know what she was feeling anymore. All she knew what that it was better than she could have ever even suspected and she never wanted to let go. But she knew she had to because she was still slightly confused as to what Chloe felt for her. So slowly she pulled back and felt her eyelids open slightly to see Chloe's pupils dilated as much as her own, if not more.

Both suddenly became aware that they were in Beca's room and what they had just done. Chloe's smile widened and her eyes twinkled and she threw herself back onto Beca giving her the biggest hug she could muster. And Beca heard Chloe's voice whispering into her ear,

"Beca Mitchell, I couldn't ask for a better person to be in love with."


End file.
